Low Self Esteem?
Low self esteem? What does that mean? High self esteem?
How are they different?
Self-image is a collection of messages we have taken in about
ourselves over a very long period of time. If the messages are
predominantly good ones, the average self-image we have, or more
specifically, our sense of esteem for ourselves, is good. We have
a good self-esteem. If the messages are predominantly bad ones,
the average self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of
esteem we have for ourselves, is bad.
Self-esteem emerges out of the zillions of individual "introjects"
(inputs we "inculcate;" that is, take in, own, identify as real about
ourselves, etc. over the entire span of our lives.) It starts
accumulating from day one and never stops evolving, for good or bad.
If you consider the dynamics of this process, believe it or not, both
low and high self-esteems are formed in the exact same way. Only the
content of our minds vary, which has a crummy effect on our moods.
In the beginning, individual events have a huge impact on our
self-esteems. That's because we are vulnerable, like most children
are, and also because there are less other images in our skulls with
which to average the new, incoming message. Therefore, one or two new
messages have a greater impact on the average experience we have about
Near the end of life, we have zillions of messages already in place,
bouncing around inside our heads, most of them neatly catalogued in the
back of our awareness. This creates a more robust, less modifiable
databank. In other words, it's harder to change self-image in older
people just by putting in new ideas, because there are already too many
old ones in place.
I've developed a technique that uses some specific thoughts to
change our feelings. It turns out it's not our thoughts that change
self esteem. It's our feelings. And, feelings can be manipulated by
consciously bringing up certain strategic thoughts, thus changing the
feeling (because feelings follow thoughts in adults). You control the
thoughts and you're your feelings change, you strategically apply the
feelings, using the new feeling that comes in a specific way. It's a
combination of two nifty techniques and they work--far better than the
usual superficial techniques offered in the pop-psychology literature.
It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem has been crummy for a
little while or your whole life. You're not going to try to change the
whole ball of wax, just one thought at a time. I tell you how. It's
actually counterintuitive. You have to start small and work up, not
think big and try to generate a trickle-down effect. The latter fails.
It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem is very, very bad or
just a little dinged. Same technique works equally well for both.
But you have to understand the rationale behind this breakthrough
idea, and for that, you have to read more of what I've written.
Hello, I've been an outpatient psychologist for over twenty years.
I've come across eight psychological conditions that I see every day.
Self-esteem is one of them, and it's one that permeates all the other
seven. Improve self-esteem and the others improve, too. Below are
some links to take you to my webpages, where more details are provided.